Brief:
A company specializing in GPU-powered audio production software asked me to proofread an upcoming LinkedIn post. I reviewed the post and checked for grammatical accuracy. Included is an excerpt of the original text, followed by my edit. Changes are shown.
Copy (original):
[redacted] made a real splash at the recent Audio Developer Conference 2022! It’s an important milestone for the startup, so I can’t be quiet about this fact and would like to thank my team, ADC organizers and the Conference participants for their sincere interest in [redacted] technology. My special thanks to XXX for making our participation possible.
Let me share some more details, facts, and emotions about how we managed to take part in this event. From the very beginning, starting from applying for the Conference and till its end, [redacted] technology became a subject of extreme interest from the professional community. We were even dubbed by colleagues as a ‘splash in the industry’.
To start with, we had to pass an anonymous poll by all the ADC members before applying for participation in the Speakers’ panel. We were selected to participate and moreover, all our presentations were highly appreciated by the audience.
Having performed with three presentations, we seemed to be the most active speakers this year, since we gave the highest number of presentations compared to the rest of the participants. Within the first working day of the Conference our workshop for the developers, demonstrating the platform’s full range of possibilities, was overcrowded.
Our offline spot was full of people interested in the [redacted] platform’s functions. The same situation was at our workshop in the online Jupiter Lab – designed to host 60 persons, it ultimately hosted a full capacity of 90 developers. As we were told later, our workshop was visited by over half of all the developers participating in the Conference.
By accident, our third presentation at the Conference coincided with Apple’s event held at the same time. So we didn't anticipate even half of the 400-seats auditory to be full but were pleased to see a fully-crowded room again.
This Conference gave us a lot of useful feedback which we are going to use further for product development. Our participation resulted also in ideas for new partnerships with some very progressive teams, we are eager to jointly implement them. I was happy to see many interesting people in person. Let’s meet next year at the same Conference again!
Copy (edited):
[redacted] made a real splash at the recent Audio Developer Conference 2022! It’s an important milestone for this tech startup, so I can’t keep this news to myself, and I would especially like to thank my team, the ADC organizers, and the conference participants for their sincere interest in [redacted]’s technology. My special thanks to XXX for making our participation possible.
Let me share some more details, facts, and emotions about how we came around to taking part in this event. From the very beginning, starting from applying for the conference and till its end, [redacted] technology was a subject of extreme interest from the professional community. We were even dubbed by colleagues as a “splash in the industry”.
To start with, we had to pass an anonymous poll by all ADC members before applying for participation in the speakers’ panel. We ended up being selected to participate and moreover, all our presentations were highly appreciated by the audience.
All in all, our speakers gave three presentations, and we seemed to be the most active speakers this year, since we gave the highest number of presentations compared to the rest of the participants.
Within the first working day of the conference our workshop for developers, where we demonstrated the platform’s full range of possibilities, was completely packed.
Our offline spot was full of people interested in the [redacted] platform’s functions. We saw the same situation at our workshop in the online Jupiter Lab – designed to host 60 people, it ultimately hosted a full capacity of 90 developers. As we were told later, our workshop was visited by over half of all the developers participating in the conference.
By happenstance, our third presentation at the Conference coincided with Apple’s event, held at the same time. Because of this, we didn't anticipate even half of the 400-seat auditorium to be filled, but were pleased to see a fully crowded room once again.
This conference gave us a lot of useful feedback which we are going to use further for product development. Our participation also resulted in ideas for new partnerships with some very progressive teams, and we are eager to jointly implement them. I was happy to see many interesting people in person. Let’s meet next year at the same conference again!